Monday, 26 November 2012

The Fob on the Bus Goes YAT YI SAM!

As a self-proclaimed urbanite, I am a staunch supporter of public transit. I myself take public transit to and from work every day. I have a car sitting at home, but I'd rather not start and finish my day with a vein-bursting road-rage sesh. As someone who works in the land development industry, I truly believe that everyone should take public transit, but I digress... that's a post for another blog!

You may already know that my sister is a brutal driver. As a result, she often opts to bus-it if she feels uncomfortable driving somewhere by herself. For anyone who's ever taken public transit, you know there's no shortage of colourful characters to behold on the bus. I myself am treated to this experience daily, and one day in particular my sister had a close encounter of her own.

One day my sister was riding the bus when she noticed a crazy Chinese lady counting out-loud to herself in her seat. "Yat... yi... sam..." She wasn't really paying the crazy lady too much attention, when all of the sudden Crazy McCrazersons comes up to my sister and says "You are showing too much fresh" in her thick Cantonese accent while pointing at my sister's exposed arms. Embarrassed and a little weirded-out, my sister just stared at the lady until she retreated back to her seat. I like to think that this lady was just carrying out her fobly duties to protect young Chinese girls from the dangers of such flagrant displays of arm skin.

The fob on the bus goes YAT, YI, SAM! YAT, YI, SAM! YAT, YI, SAM!

Thursday, 15 November 2012

Staying True to My People

Today's post is about yours truly. Enjoy!

Me 'n my gwai lo husband were shopping for noodles at Safeway...

Husband: Should we stay true to your people and get the Ichiban brand?

Me: Number 1: I'm not Japanese. Number 2: If we are staying true to my people we are buying the Safeway brand because it's the cheapest per gram.

If you want to try and convince a Chinese person to spend 9 cents more for a brand name... be my guest.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Stop Eating With Your Left Hand!

This fob memory takes place in a Chinese restaurant at a family gathering of some sort. This was quite some time ago and I don't imagine myself being much older than 15 at this point. Anyways... I was sitting across from my mother when, suddenly, she kicked me from underneath the table. I looked up at her and she looked very angry. I raised my eyebrows as if to ask "what?" and she began to whisper angrily to me.

Mom: Stop eating with your leff han'!

I was definitely eating with my right hand, as I am right-handed, but obviously my mother was tripped-up because we were facing each other, and therefore our left and right were reversed. Being the wonderful daughter that I am, I decided to mess with her.

Me: Why? I need practice.

Mom: No you don't! Stop it, Erin! It's rude!

Me: Why is it rude? I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Because! Somebody sit next to you and wanna eat with their right han', then they are bumping into you!

Me: I don't care. I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Oh you are gonna get it later in the car!

So "later in the car" happens, and my mom is yelling at me in front of my dad and siblings. When she was finished ripping me a new one, I pointed out the minor detail that I was, in fact, eating with my right hand, yet somehow kept my mother going for the whole dinner.

Classic family togetherness time.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Jeff Who Lives at Home

My mom watched the movie "Jeff Who Lives at Home", and recommended that my sister watch it too. So my sister ordered it on Netflix and told my mother about it.

Sister: I watched that movie.

Mom: What? You mean "Jeff Lives Here"?

Monday, 5 November 2012

My Mom on Penguins

My mom recently returned from a trip to San Diego where she spent a day at SeaWorld. She was excited to tell my siblings about her trip, but I guess the novelty of seeing exotic wildlife up-close was lost on her.

My Brother: So did you get to see the penguins?

Mom: Yeah I did.

Brother: Oh cool! And?

Mom: I think they are just glorified chickens!

Brother: Haha what?

Mom: They smell bad!

Brother: Ok... well what did you think of the orcas?

Mom: I really liked watching Shampu.