tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64006017361689916182024-03-13T05:35:11.110-07:00The FOBulous Mom- a chronicle of my fobby momThe FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-18619313217798918502014-01-13T12:45:00.000-08:002014-01-13T12:45:37.713-08:00FOB TipsFob tip of the day: Never say "none of your business" to your fobby parent.<br />
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You might as well say: "Dearest parent, please accept this as my formal invitation to become unrelentingly obsessed with where I'm going, what I'll be doing, who will be there, if there will be drugs, and why I am keeping secrets".<br />
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I hope you've found this tip helpful.<br />
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-84455279794455004362014-01-07T12:32:00.002-08:002014-01-07T12:38:05.991-08:00Long JohnsOk people. The FOBulous Mom is back after a long bout of pure unadulterated laziness. Today I present to you the following picture which was snapped from deep inside the fob habitat:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #666666;">Observe the air purification in progress</span></span></div>
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Now, being a good Canadian, my mother has prepared herself for the long winters by stocking up on several hundred pairs of long johns. Being a good appliance owner, she has prepared herself for dryer maintenance day by doing much of the same.<br />
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-71929873275575170302014-01-03T13:06:00.001-08:002014-01-03T13:06:36.782-08:00Happy New Year!Happy New Year from The FOBulous Mom! Keep it real in 2014 y'hear?<br />
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-3366850802253445132013-10-21T13:18:00.001-07:002013-10-21T13:22:56.325-07:00Sometimes my Uncle is a FobWe had my out-of-town uncle over for thanksgiving and he was entertaining us with some stories from his recent trip to China. Apparently, some of the <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/06/fobby-food.html" target="_blank">gwai los</a> on his trip fell victim to pick-pockets while he avoided being swindled due to his heightened alertness. In typical fob fashion, he started to give us young folk tips on how to travel safely and protect ourselves from bad people. He went on to describe how nowadays the Chinese thieves are using tongs to reach into your pockets to steal your wallet and/or cigarettes so we need to keep all our valuables hidden inside our <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/05/tas.html" target="_blank">vests</a>. He even gave us a straight-up Zorro-style demonstration using the tongs he grabbed out of the vegetable bowl on the dinner table.<br />
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Not to be outdone by my uncle's clear fob supremacy, my mother proudly announced that she too is a very clever traveler by exclaiming "I told ga jie to buy a decoy wallet from the <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/05/dollarama-rama.html" target="_blank">dollar store</a> to put above her real wallet!"<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TgGosFS-4fY/UmBhAi-4y_I/AAAAAAAAAmY/YCLwQbtH3_8/s1600/heavy_duty_utility_tongs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TgGosFS-4fY/UmBhAi-4y_I/AAAAAAAAAmY/YCLwQbtH3_8/s320/heavy_duty_utility_tongs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #666666;">http://skinnygirlsandmayo.com/2012/01/27/good-gadget-bad-gadget-pt-v/ </span></span></div>
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Nicely done, One-uppington!The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-42163503392961900062013-10-17T14:51:00.001-07:002013-10-17T14:51:38.279-07:00Mode and MiwdewIf your parent is a fob, he/she may be concerned with the growth of "mode" or "miwdew" in their dated 90s bathroom.<br />
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I know mine is.<br />
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-60313546501391269642013-10-15T11:30:00.000-07:002013-10-15T11:47:53.732-07:00Chinese FoodSo this happened... <br />
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The guy responsible for Rebecca Black's "Friday" has struck again, this time, with a song about Chinese Food. I'm sure some people will say that this video is racist, but I think this video is great. What's not to like? The catchy beat, poetic lyrics, ever changing subtitle language, inexplicable clubbing of a 10 year old girl, Japanese geishas dancing at a chinese restaurant, greasy north-americanized chinese food, and a creepy panda... seems like the ingredients of a family-friendly hit to me!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/wWLhrHVySgA" width="459"></iframe>The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-81757211420452536432013-10-09T15:10:00.002-07:002013-10-09T15:11:22.037-07:00The Hair ElasticMy mom came over to my house and I noticed that her hair was tied back with one of these...<br />
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I guess if it can hold your broccoli together then there's no reason why it can't keep your hair out of your face. <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/03/fobs-101.html" target="_blank">Resourceful.</a><br />
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The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-38930154051829049032013-08-28T16:08:00.002-07:002013-08-28T16:09:23.535-07:00Fob Digs Out a Clogged PoreEeeeewwwwww<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click the link below for video</td></tr>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1412415908977415" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1412415908977415</a></div>
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-64898797332963942902013-08-15T15:27:00.002-07:002013-08-15T15:33:23.281-07:00So... I'm fat, right?Short post today. I'll admit to being a tad bit lazy with the blogging as of late, but I promise I'll be better soon!<br />
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Anywho... to expand on my previous post, I was pestering my mother again for being fat because it amuses me so. This time, her response was: "You think I'm fat? Hey everyone, look at Erin's gut! Erin is the <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2013/07/so-fat.html" target="_blank">bagel</a> girl! BAGEL GIRL!"<br />
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Nice.<br />
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Interestingly enough though, my mom proceeded to invite me over for dinner a few days later where she stated: "I will fatten you up so you can give me GRANDSON!"<br />
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Well that escalated quickly...<br />
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-25239395453448450032013-07-11T13:25:00.001-07:002013-07-17T12:16:06.865-07:00So Fat!For those of you who are fortunate enough to have fob parents, you will surely know the joy that comes with a lifetime of having your weight carefully monitored and scrutinized.<br />
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As far back as I can remember, my mother has always been on mine and my sister's cases when it came to our weight. For example, if I were to be wearing a tighter shirt after a hearty meal, my mother would sometimes request that I remove my "bagel" from her field of vision. If you are asking yourself "what in tarnation is a bagel?", you will be enlightened to know that a "bagel" is a term my mother invented to describe the circle of fat that surrounds one's belly button. Now, I wouldn't exactly describe myself as fat, but I guess by Chinese standards you could say I'm an <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/05/only-in-chinatown.html" target="_blank">XXL</a>.<br />
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But don't feel bad for me. I'm used to it. Just like I'm used to being called "idiot" and "ungrateful". It just comes with the territory. Actually, it's kind of funny now that I'm older realizing not every kid grew up being told they were fat pieces of garbage who needed to get better grades. (White kids need not be offended on my behalf... it's cool)<br />
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Anyways... as of late, my normally petite mother has put on a little bit of weight. Seeing as how I am a wonderful daughter, I decided that I would give my mother a taste of her own medicine, even though she'd probably only put on like 5 lbs. Still, if nothing else, it would be an interesting social experiment to see how she'd react.<br />
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<b>Me: </b>Hey mom. You got fat.<br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Yeah so?<br />
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<i>As predicted... she didn't seem to be phased so I decided to kick it up a notch. </i><br />
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<b>Me: </b>Are you angry that you're fatter than me now?<br />
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<i>Expecting her to be at least a LITTLE offended that I was implying her bagel had now surpassed mine, she had the following response: </i><br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Why would I be angry? Mommy's allow to be fat because she's ol'. Not you though.<br />
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<i>Nope... still unphased.</i><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lJAQ2hxz9vM/UebtV617_yI/AAAAAAAAAlo/D3jeDTkO3ZQ/s1600/enhanced-buzz-18000-1366219125-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lJAQ2hxz9vM/UebtV617_yI/AAAAAAAAAlo/D3jeDTkO3ZQ/s400/enhanced-buzz-18000-1366219125-13.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.buzzfeed.com/daozers/27-signs-you-were-raised-by-asian-immigrant-parents </span></span><i><br /></i></div>
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-70065424117044179452013-07-10T14:33:00.003-07:002013-07-10T14:33:24.094-07:00Boulevard Watches"Your brother is so stupid! What does he want to buy now? One of those... what is it call... Boulevar' watches?"<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O-YnYwzaM38/Ud3SvXrZpFI/AAAAAAAAAlY/XULG5MTYLG0/s1600/bulself1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O-YnYwzaM38/Ud3SvXrZpFI/AAAAAAAAAlY/XULG5MTYLG0/s320/bulself1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.swissvintagewatches.com/u200.html</span></span></div>
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-82029879934453789982013-06-26T07:57:00.000-07:002013-06-26T07:57:07.971-07:00Same Pants<i>So one day I was wearing a pair of mint green jeans to my parents' house and my mom piped up:</i><br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Hey I have those same pants!<br />
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<b>Me: </b>Oh really??? <i>*Surprised that my mom would actually buy stylish pants like moi*</i><br />
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<b>Mom: </b>YA! Did you get those from HMV????<br />
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<b>Me: </b>Uuuhhhhhh......<br />
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<b>My Sister: </b>Oh my GAWD, Mother. You got them from H&M.<br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Oh. <br />
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<b>Me: </b>Nice attempt at being cool though.<br />
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<i>Fact: My mom will never be cool.</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #666666;">http://heyyoushouldbuythis.tumblr.com/page/2</span></span></div>
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-90001629763650221342013-06-11T07:21:00.000-07:002013-06-11T07:21:53.371-07:00The Lint LadyI was at my parents' house the other day when I saw my mother perched in the dryer like so:<br />
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When I asked her what she was doing in the dryer, she stated that she was cleaning out the lint trap. Obviously she was doing a very thorough job as she was digging around in there for quite awhile.<br />
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When she finally emerged, I understood why she was really going to town on that thing. I snapped the resulting pic:<br />
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I guess chopsticks are good for more than just eating,<a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/03/fobs-101.html" target="_blank"> cramming frozen juice down a funnel</a>, and mixing paint!<br />
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-18086149231800920702013-05-23T11:01:00.000-07:002013-05-23T11:01:02.098-07:00The RaincoatHere is a picture of my mother trying on her raincoat before her vacation. I don't know who looks fobbier; her in her raincoat, or me in her tourist hat.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CO0PPzzaRWU/UZ5V5tM_7II/AAAAAAAAAj8/3Ck1rA6ioL4/s1600/DSC_0870.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CO0PPzzaRWU/UZ5V5tM_7II/AAAAAAAAAj8/3Ck1rA6ioL4/s400/DSC_0870.JPG" width="225" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Mommy dearest is always happy to pose for pictures of undisclosed intent</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">HELLO! WHICH WAY TO THE SPACE MOUNTAIN?????</span></div>
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<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-62421203633132416522013-05-16T14:42:00.001-07:002013-10-23T14:48:02.138-07:00Disney's Hiring Policy<i>My parents just came back from a Disneyland vacation and my mom was telling us some stories from their trip.</i><br />
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<b>Mom:</b> Hey Dad, remember when we were at the Star Wars line and the Chinese worker came out and he kep' sayin' "FORM TWO LINE! FORM TWO LINE!" but I guess nobody could understand him but me! That's why I stand next to you. I think I was the only other Chinese person there. You <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/07/reflections-on-noodles.html" target="_blank">white people</a> didn't know what to do HAHAH!<br />
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<b>Dad: </b>Well I couldn't really make out was he was saying so I just ignored him. <br />
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<b>Mom: </b>I was actually surprised to see a Chinese operator in the park. Usually Disney is pretty good about only hiring white people.<br />
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<i><i></i> </i><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;">Oh she is SO not hired</span></div>
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-59994582211446174622013-04-24T15:29:00.002-07:002013-04-24T15:29:54.705-07:00Thoughts...Just thinking about Boston now. Hoping the victims see justice and get answers soon.The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-46544144214211604202013-04-18T11:29:00.006-07:002013-04-18T11:32:04.256-07:00Preparing for Another VacationI went to my parents' house yesterday, and let me tell you... it was a treasure trove of fobbery to behold. Let me start off by explaining that my family is going on yet another <a href="http://www.thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/05/let-us-out.html" target="_blank">family vacation</a>, so they were busy getting ready to depart.<br />
<br />
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.<br />
<br />
<b>Me: </b>Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?<br />
<br />
<b>Mom:</b> I bought that for your sister.<br />
<br />
<b>Sister: </b>I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!<br />
<br />
<b>Mom: </b>YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!<br />
<br />
<b>Sister: </b>NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!<br />
<br />
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FDKS-f-rgZs/UXAxzXX_6wI/AAAAAAAAAi4/rjTbhe0vx-M/s1600/20130417_203144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FDKS-f-rgZs/UXAxzXX_6wI/AAAAAAAAAi4/rjTbhe0vx-M/s320/20130417_203144.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;">Protection from the sun's harmful rays. Check!</span></div>
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<b>Mom: </b>Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.<br />
<br />
<b>Me: </b>No thanks.<br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Me: </b>No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.<br />
<br />
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j8QdohQKTIs/UXA0T3EP2xI/AAAAAAAAAjA/o_5R7abgTqM/s1600/20130417_203058.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j8QdohQKTIs/UXA0T3EP2xI/AAAAAAAAAjA/o_5R7abgTqM/s320/20130417_203058.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Yeah my mom plays bball. No biggie.</span></div>
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<br />
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.<br />
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Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:<br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Here. You get a chunky soup.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ivtaTP6YFhQ/UXA08U8NxrI/AAAAAAAAAjI/t3_etYF6TVI/s1600/20130417_203206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ivtaTP6YFhQ/UXA08U8NxrI/AAAAAAAAAjI/t3_etYF6TVI/s320/20130417_203206.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Oh mother. You shouldn't have! How can I accept this???</span></div>
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<br />
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/03/fobs-101.html" target="_blank">over-ripe</a> strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a <a href="http://mymomisafob.com/2009/04/20/homemade-container-for-strawberries/" target="_blank">fob-approved transportation unit</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H8YwIT_uXJs/UXA1uPb8j4I/AAAAAAAAAjQ/VGHIpzcTs-A/s1600/20130417_210116.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H8YwIT_uXJs/UXA1uPb8j4I/AAAAAAAAAjQ/VGHIpzcTs-A/s320/20130417_210116.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;">Oh yum! I can just imagine how fresh these would have been a week ago!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: black;">The fobbery continues...</span></span></div>
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The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-53174875858608807942013-04-17T14:55:00.001-07:002013-04-19T09:29:02.621-07:00Signs you Were Raised by an Asian Immigrant ParentThis is pretty accurate. Not bad, Buzzfeed:<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/daozers/27-signs-you-were-raised-by-asian-immigrant-parents" target="_blank"> 27 Signs You Were Raised By Asian Immigrant Parent</a><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o_X8mTyHf-I/UW8T10iolVI/AAAAAAAAAio/pPByRBO93ag/s1600/soap0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o_X8mTyHf-I/UW8T10iolVI/AAAAAAAAAio/pPByRBO93ag/s400/soap0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.buzzfeed.com/daozers/27-signs-you-were-raised-by-asian-immigrant-parents</span></div>
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I swear my mother has a whole section under the bathroom sink dedicated to hotel toiletries. Also, we used to have a towel with a big "S" on it which my mother had stolen from a Sheraton Hotel Pool. I miss that towel. </div>
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The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-47952894092133781842013-03-27T10:23:00.000-07:002013-03-27T13:41:47.360-07:00The FOBulous Mom Turns 1... two weeks ago...Wow... I was totally sleeping at the wheel for this one. My blog hit the 1 year mark and I wasn't even mentally present to take note!<br />
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I guess I should share a bit of history regarding how this whole blog thing started. Not too long ago, I had discovered a website called <a href="http://mymomisafob.com/">MyMomIsAFob.com</a> where users submit funny stories about their fobby moms. I obviously fell in love with this website as I could relate to the vast majority of the ridiculous stories. I would literally sit there in my cubicle reading these posts while violently convulsing in a vain attempt to subdue my laughter. Good times.<br />
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One day I decided I would submit a story, <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/03/finding-emo.html" target="_blank">"Finding Emo"</a>, which would eventually make it's way onto the pages of mymomisafob.com. I had a pretty good response when I shared this with my facebook friends, so I decided I'd share a few more stories on facebook.<br />
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As I continued to follow the fobby stories, the gals over at mymomisafob apparently decided it was time to take a break and I was left with no more fobby stories to read. It was then that I decided I would start my own blog, if not for my friends, for my own personal amusement. Slowly but surely, I began the process of documenting the various stories of my mother which I had committed to memory, as wells some new gems.<br />
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I guess I should thank MyMomIsAFob for taking a well-deserved break since that was ultimately the catalyst for me to start my blog. Thanks guys!<br />
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And what kind of reflective post would this be if I didn't mention the woman who inspired this whole mess: my mother dearest. If it werent' for my mother, I wouldn't have had the deranged upbringing and outlook on life that I have now. From day one, my mother has stayed true to her Tiger mom stripes. Never one to deviate from stereotypes, she's been known to cook a mean stir fry, bust a few skulls for bad grades, and retrieve food/commodities out of the garbage for safe-keeping. I owe my mom a lot of thanks for teaching me some valuable life lessons too. Among them is to always be grateful for what you have, to respect your elders, to finish your food, and to not become a slut. Actually, perhaps the most important lesson my mom has taught me was that life isn't fair. This was exceptionally evident when I was the only sibling who didn't receive an iPod as a graduation present. But the true lesson in there is that $hit happens in life. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Either way the only thing you can control is yourself, so you might as well bust your a$$ so you can be of some use to society... at least that's my interpretation.<br />
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Lastly, but not leastly, I would like to give a shout out to you, the reader! Without someone to give two-$hits about this blog, well... I'd probably still write it, but it would be a lot more depressing for me to do so. I thank you. I am always so pleasantly surprised to find that someone can relate to me or thinks my stupid stories are amusing. I am also so confused as to how people from other countries have managed to find my blog... confused yet delighted!<br />
<br />
I would like to give a big shout out to some of my readers in other countries! Here are some of the countries who are currently blowing my mind:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Canada (doi), you are my homegirl</li>
<li>USA! USA! </li>
<li><span lang="ru">Россия! I obviously love Russians because they are the COOLEST!</span></li>
<li><span lang="ru">The UK! Bloody hell!</span></li>
<li><span lang="ru">Aussie, aussie, aussie! Oi, oi, oi!</span></li>
<li>Deutschland? Danke<span class="st"> schön</span>!</li>
<li>Oppan South Korea Style!</li>
</ul>
<span lang="de">I also had some hits from Sweden but I'm pretty sure they found my blog by accident while looking for instructions on how to assemble Ikea furniture. </span><br />
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<span lang="de"><i>Dwo je!</i></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aWsw8KjV3EM/UVMp-LmdUxI/AAAAAAAAAiY/7xjWtd7OcFs/s1600/birthdays.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aWsw8KjV3EM/UVMp-LmdUxI/AAAAAAAAAiY/7xjWtd7OcFs/s1600/birthdays.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.booksicals.com/booksicals-birthday-parties</span></div>
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-28185126155290641562013-03-22T11:06:00.000-07:002013-03-22T11:06:02.191-07:00Goldroom - Fifteen<br />
The FOBulous Mom: your new source for HOT JAMS! Well not really... but I like this song and it features a fellow half-yellow, Chela!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/kFtpvdTUWYc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Sorry, nothing fobby today folks!<br />
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-39667391345205133932013-03-15T10:41:00.000-07:002013-03-25T09:05:17.336-07:00My Mom on Gilbert Gottfried<i>My mom calls me at work today to see what my plans are for the evening...</i><br />
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<b>Mom: </b>What are you doing tonight? Can me and <a href="http://www.thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2013/02/nicknames-galore.html" target="_blank">gogo</a> come over for a <a href="http://thefobulousmom.blogspot.ca/2012/04/text-mark.html" target="_blank">fisit</a>?<br />
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<b>Me:</b> I'm going to see Gilbert Gottfried tonight at Yuk Yuk's comedy club.<br />
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<b>Mom:</b> Is it a Girl-Nights-Ow?<br />
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<b>Me:</b> No.<br />
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<b>Mom: </b>Oh. You know who is Gilber Goffreeze, right?<br />
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<b>Me:</b> No. <i>(I know who he is but I wanted to see what my mom would say)</i><br />
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<b>Mom: </b>He is the guy that scrunches his eye ball.<br />
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<i>Vintage Gilber!</i><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1IQzyAlv6zM/UUNb66P4ZqI/AAAAAAAAAhk/uFW8r3I-2xA/s1600/Gilbert-Gottfried.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1IQzyAlv6zM/UUNb66P4ZqI/AAAAAAAAAhk/uFW8r3I-2xA/s320/Gilbert-Gottfried.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.bite.ca/bitedaily/2011/01/comedy-spotlight-gilbert-gottfried/</span></div>
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-27222061650412490602013-03-13T12:14:00.006-07:002013-03-13T12:15:21.710-07:00My Husband on "The Bachelor"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For those of you ladies who forced your man to watch the season finale of <i>The Bachelor</i>, know that you are not alone.<br />
<br />
When I was watching the season finale with my gwai lo husband, this is what he had to say about Sean's choice of Catherine over Lindsay:<br />
<br />
"So he chose the asian one... RUN SEAN! RUUUUUUUUN!!!!"<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0c13e-PLQ88/UUCdyHTj6SI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/7MrRjmywSc4/s1600/bach-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0c13e-PLQ88/UUCdyHTj6SI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/7MrRjmywSc4/s320/bach-6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/s77/the-bachelor/news/a460285/bachelor-sean-lowe-on-catherine-doubts-wish-she-shared-her-dreams.html</span><br />
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The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-36724899817514672112013-03-05T09:15:00.004-08:002013-03-05T09:16:16.497-08:00I Love Sriracha!This is a scene from inside my fridge. I love Sriracha so much that I can't bear to let a single drop go to waste! It's kind of fobby of me but I'm sure I'm not the only person who does this.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jGgdUztPMyU/UTTrdVMnMFI/AAAAAAAAAhA/Q9-AxKcf1E8/s1600/20130303_161200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jGgdUztPMyU/UTTrdVMnMFI/AAAAAAAAAhA/Q9-AxKcf1E8/s400/20130303_161200.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">You <span style="font-size: x-small;">know you're asian when</span></span>...</span></span></div>
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The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-24783073676524360572013-03-04T10:30:00.001-08:002013-03-04T10:30:14.368-08:00The Red Envelope SnatcherNot long after CNY my sister found this note where her red envelope used to be:<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EZK9F5cfIsY/UTTnjdivdcI/AAAAAAAAAg4/QIoJ0qNaA1U/s1600/mms_img1830277951.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EZK9F5cfIsY/UTTnjdivdcI/AAAAAAAAAg4/QIoJ0qNaA1U/s640/mms_img1830277951.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white;">Notice her spelling and <span style="font-size: x-small;">redundant</span> use of the <span style="font-size: x-small;">money</span> symbol</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></span></div>
The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400601736168991618.post-4199974401678454292013-02-20T17:06:00.001-08:002013-02-20T17:07:19.079-08:00Nicknames Galore!Nicknames are a huge staple in my household. We are rarely addressed by our given names when mommy dearest is at the helm of the conversation. I don't think this is necessarily a "fobby" behaviour as it is just my mom being her weird self.<br />
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When it comes to nicknames, my mom doesn't so much concern herself with the cleverness or quality of the nickname, but rather the quantity. She is quite prolific.<br />
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A good portion of the time, my mom just spews out a new nickname that no one's ever heard before, yet somehow we always know who she's talking to. Typically anything that starts with a B, G, H and M is a nickname for my
sister, and anything that starts with a B, D, F, P, S, T and W is a
nickname for my brother. Even though my brother and sister both share
the letter B we can almost always distininguish which nickname belongs to who.<br />
<br />
Anyways, for your reading pleasures here is a condensed (yes condensed) summary of the more common names we hear around my house:<br />
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 524px;"><colgroup><col style="mso-width-alt: 8192; mso-width-source: userset; width: 168pt;" width="224"></col>
<col style="mso-width-alt: 4461; mso-width-source: userset; width: 92pt;" width="122"></col>
<col style="mso-width-alt: 3035; mso-width-source: userset; width: 62pt;" width="83"></col>
<col style="mso-width-alt: 3474; mso-width-source: userset; width: 71pt;" width="95"></col>
</colgroup><tbody>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl65" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt; width: 168pt;" width="224"><b>Little
Brother</b></td>
<td class="xl65" style="width: 92pt;" width="122"><b>Little Sister</b></td>
<td class="xl65" style="width: 62pt;" width="83"><b>Me</b></td>
<td class="xl65" style="width: 71pt;" width="95"><b>My Father</b></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Baboon</td>
<td>Boger</td>
<td>Devil Chil'</td>
<td>Ol' man</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Baboonski</td>
<td>Boger Noger</td>
<td>Tud</td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Bean Counting Ben</td>
<td>Buji</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Beep Bop</td>
<td>Buji Wuji</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Ben</td>
<td>Go Go</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Billy</td>
<td>Goo Goo</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Billy Bee</td>
<td>Gugalucki</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Boon</td>
<td>Guganucki</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Din Din</td>
<td>Ho Ho</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Ding Dong</td>
<td>Ho Ho Nuck Nuck</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Dinsey</td>
<td>Ho Ho Ro Ro</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Fi fi</td>
<td>Mega Goo</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Fila Lila<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></td>
<td>Mo Mo</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Fila Lila Jing Jong</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Fila Lila Jing Jong Sing Song</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Fila Lila Loonski</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Pi pa</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Pi pa poon</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Poo</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Sing sing</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Sing song</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Tin Tin</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Tinsey</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Wiggle Wam</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">Wing Wam</td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
<td><br /></td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I think it's worth noting the uneven distribution of nicknames across family members. I have a theory that the number of nicknames you have is in direct correlation with how much my mom loves you. Further study is required...<br />
<br />The FOBulous Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04748158726404494613noreply@blogger.com0