Dog-sitting

My family recently dog-sat for my in-laws while they were away on a cruise. When I first asked my mother if they would consider dog-sitting, she was a little leery as they had just put in some new flooring. However, the dog is really small and very well-behaved so I convinced her that everything would be fine, and she eventually agreed.

Fast forward to the day after my in-laws return from their vacation and I get a phone call from my mother checking in on the dog:

Mom: How is Misha?

Me: She is good.

Mom: Did she remember her real mommy and daddy?

Me: Yes. She was excited to see them.

Mom: Awe.. did she miss us?

Me: I dunno. I can't say.

Mom: Awe... dad misses her.

Me: I think YOU miss her.

Mom: Yeah I do... I miss her growling face and her begging.

Me: See I told you you would love her.

Mom: I know!

My sister in the background: Yesterday mom was like "STUPID ERIN! SHE SAID WE WOULD LOVE THAT DOG AND WE DID!"

 Here is a picture of the puppy Misha in her Santa hat!

SNAFU

My mother was recently trying to recall one of my brother's Halloween costumes from a few years back. After a couple of minutes of description, he knew that she was referring to his Fubar costume but before he could speak she said "You were that guy from Snafu, right?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fubarmovie.jpg

Comparing Daughters

Fob parents just can't help but compare their children to one another...

I was mentioning to my mom how my sister, "gogo", is scared to drive because she is so terrible at it. Below is her e-mail back to me. I guess she was trying to find the redeeming points in my sister.

Aw... my mother thinks so highly of me.

Timberlink and Sanders

This post requires no context:

"Is that Justin Timberlink and Andy Sanders?"

How the Tables Have Turned

Last night when I was over at my parents' house for dinner, my fob mother finally got the chance to be on the delivering end of a ridiculing story.

As my mom was about to tell us all what had unfolded earlier that day, my sister interrupted her to say "I just want you all to know that I was over-due for a blonde moment".

So apparently when my mom and sister were in the car my mom pointed out the newly constructed Humane Society as they were driving by. My sister was confused as to why she should take interest so she asked my mom "and why do I care?"

My mom just continued to say that it was a brand new facility and it just got finished being built etc. So my sister then asked "So what? Do the homeless people like it there or something?"

Oh simple little sissy. My mom always enjoys the moments where she can dole out the mockery as opposed to the other way around.

http://www.edmontonhumanesociety.com/

Where are u?

My fobby mom can be quite the annoying little lady. One of her evermore irritating habits is asking "Where are u?"

Not only does she ask me ALL THE FREAKING TIME, but she always has a subsequent question which, more often than not, has nothing to do with where I am.

For example, she will ask me "where are u?" and I will say "I'm at home" and then she will say "Are you free for dinner next week?"

I think her obsession over the whereabouts of her children stems from a fob mother's constant fear that her children are hanging out with drug dealers and/or rapists.

 Sometimes I can't help but snap after a while

 ...and sometimes I just ignore her.

 I swear my first words as a baby must've been "Where are u?"

Miew Dat Shit!

My friend Alex was in a promotional ad for NAIT which is a technical school for those of you who don't know. Anyways, my mom always yells at us when we don't immediately mute TV commercials as soon as they come on. Typically when we forget to mute them she reminds us by screaming "MIEW DAT SHIT!" which, when translated to English means "mute that shit".

One day, however, when Alex's commercial popped onto the screen my mom was like "HEY UNMIEW DAT SHIT! I WANNA SEE ALEX!!!!!"

To have my mom unmute the TV mid-commercial was unheard of before that day. Alex should consider that to be a compliment on the highest order! My mom even sat quietly for the entire 30 seconds!

It was a big day.