I Love Sriracha!

This is a scene from inside my fridge. I love Sriracha so much that I can't bear to let a single drop go to waste! It's kind of fobby of me but I'm sure I'm not the only person who does this.

You know you're asian when...

The Burger King Rant

It's been a while. I should probably post something!

My mom used to work at Burger King WAAAY back in her teenage years, and every now and again my sister and I will ask about her Burger King days to get her reminiscing. We don't ask because we're particularly interested or anything. We bring it up because, without fail, she goes on this impassioned rant about all the free burgers she ate.

Anyways here is just your general run down of my mom's un-interruptable Burger King Rant:

"Free food? You bet I had free food! I ate a chicken burger everyday with a BIG chocolate shake! And I didn't even need to order off the menu. I made it MY special way! Back then it was all free for the Burger King employees. Probably not anymore. I could have eaten anything I wanted. The best part of that job was definitely the free food. Yeah I had to wear a uniform, but the burgers were free and mommy loved the milkshakes! I am surprise I didn't gain a lot of weight from all the free food but I was a teenager. It was soooo yummy... free food is the bess! Gong gong and por por were happy I got free food."

Gotta love the visual of my mother in a 1970s Burger King uniform.

http://sighttobehold.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/ive-had-better-days-bon-qui-qui/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

The Last Perogy

Wow. So it's 12/12/12 today and I just realized yesterday that it would be the last of it's kind for this millennium. I'm sure that come January 1, 2101 they'll still call it 01/01/01, but it won't be as authentic as these past few years in the 2000s. I'm kind of sad/nostalgic over this whole thing for no discernible reason.

Anyways, to commemorate this "last" I thought I'd share this image of the last perogy in today's post.

My mom was getting too full, but being the good asian she is she decided to save her last perogy for later. My sister found it left out on the table and snapped a pic.

The last perogy of the millennium!

Now I will admit that I'm not one to throw food away, but this is bordering on ridiculous. It's ONE perogy! Are you telling me that you can't manage to eat ONE more perogy?

What I like about this picture is that my mom put the perogy in one of those ceramic chinese dipping sauce bowls. Another thing I like about this picture is that it totally exemplifies a fob's sheer aversion to throwing food away.

But who am I to judge? When I first started dating my gwai lo, I would always finish off his table scraps just because he was going to throw them away. It didn't matter how full I was. I just couldn't stand idly by while he was wasting perfectly good food!

Gwai los...

Stop Eating With Your Left Hand!

This fob memory takes place in a Chinese restaurant at a family gathering of some sort. This was quite some time ago and I don't imagine myself being much older than 15 at this point. Anyways... I was sitting across from my mother when, suddenly, she kicked me from underneath the table. I looked up at her and she looked very angry. I raised my eyebrows as if to ask "what?" and she began to whisper angrily to me.

Mom: Stop eating with your leff han'!

I was definitely eating with my right hand, as I am right-handed, but obviously my mother was tripped-up because we were facing each other, and therefore our left and right were reversed. Being the wonderful daughter that I am, I decided to mess with her.

Me: Why? I need practice.

Mom: No you don't! Stop it, Erin! It's rude!

Me: Why is it rude? I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Because! Somebody sit next to you and wanna eat with their right han', then they are bumping into you!

Me: I don't care. I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Oh you are gonna get it later in the car!

So "later in the car" happens, and my mom is yelling at me in front of my dad and siblings. When she was finished ripping me a new one, I pointed out the minor detail that I was, in fact, eating with my right hand, yet somehow kept my mother going for the whole dinner.

Classic family togetherness time.

Leftover-licious

Take a look at this DUH-LICIOUS plate of food my mom fixed for herself. Actually it's an ancient Chinese recipe which I will share with you today:

Step 1: Get a plate and a big spoon.

Step 2: Open your fridge and reach to the very back. You might need a stool.

Step 3: Indiscriminately grab all the Tupperware containers you can find.

Step 4: Open the containers and scrape off any big chunks of mold, but leave just enough for flavour.

Step 5: Empty the contents of said containers onto your plate using the big spoon. Stir if desired.

Step 6: Put it in the microwave for one minute. That will kill any remaining spores without destroying the delicate flavours.

Step 7: Apply soy sauce to taste and enjoy!

She's even got all the food groups covered: Starch, starch, starch, chicken and powdered cheese.

Tiger Penis

Around the dinner table, my family is discussing all the animals my mom has eaten…

Me: Mom, have you ever eaten dog?

Mom: Not that I know of.

Me: What’s the weirdest  thing you’ve ever eaten?

Mom: Ummmm probably monkey brains.

Me: Ew. How about Tiger Penis?

Mom: NO WAY MAN! We were way too poor to afford that.