Cheburashka

This one is for my Russian readers.

A while back while surfing YouTube, I came across a cute little guy named Cheburashka. He is an adorable little character from a Russian stop-motion animation series from the 60s.

I decided to share Cheburashka's existence with my mother since she loves anything and all things "cute".

Something to note about my mom is she is easily confused and likes to answer simple questions with more questions. I can just hear her "angry-asian-mom" voice in my head...

Not exactly the response I was looking for...

Short, Sweet and Effective

One day me, my sister, and my mom were all watching Disney's Mulan.
I was in a pestering kind of mood so I decided to pick on my mom. I guess she just wanted me to shut up and watch the movie.

Me: Mom, is the story of Mulan based on your life?

Mom: It's base on my ASS!

American Idol

I really wish I had started this blog MOONS ago when I think back on all the memories, photos, e-mails, and videos that have been lost in time. One video that would've been perfect for this blog was of my mom eating soup. Now you may not think that would make a particularly funny video, but I can assure you it was.

My sister and I had set out some soup in a tiny dipping sauce bowl and placed in it a tiny spoon. When mommy-dearest spotted the soup, she immediately began scarfing it down. In traditional Chinese fashion, she brought the bowl up to her mouth to aggressively shovel in the last little bit.

Oh well... this post is about a video that WASN'T lost in time.

As I've established before, my mom LUVS American Idol. This woman has watched every single episode for the last-- I don't know how many seasons. Forgetting to record it for her, or deleting a recording will certainly result in your demise.

Not too long ago my sister snuck some vid of my mom watching fellow asian Hee Jun Han on American Idol. You can see her kind of mouthing the words and you can tell she's definitely mesmerised! See the video below:







Like all viewers, she has her favourites and her not-so-favourites. However, since my mom is so crazy, she truly becomes "inarmour" with the contestants she likes. The contestants she doesn't like on the other hand... I'm pretty sure she genuinely wants them to die.

Spring has Arrived!

... just joking.

The fob in the picture isn't my mom... it's moi! Just thought I'd post this picture to show you how beautiful my walk to work was this morning. Why buy an airplane ticket when we have tropical weather right here?

Real fob post to come later...

Happy Birthday to Marky!

Sometimes my mom goes off on a tangent and it's hard to know what she's trying to say. Not only does she hold the title of "worst story teller in the world", but she makes up random facts, she changes subjects without proper segues, she likes to make up her own text message abbreviations, and she frequently mispronounces words. Carrying on a conversation with her can be quite confusing at the best of times. Today's post is an example of what I mean.

The following is a string of emails sent between my mother and I on "my Marky's" birthday:

And wish him "Happy Day" I did.

Learn to Speak FOB

My mom grew up speaking Cantonese at home, even after her family had immigrated to Canada. Needless to say, English is her second language.

While my mom can speak English very well, she speaks FOB way better.

In today's post, I will be teaching you how to say some basic phrases in FOB so you too can communicate with the exceptionally fobby. I have listed some phrases in english with the FOB translations given below in brown.

Let's Begin: English
                    FOB


I've been picking up the slack when it comes to the chores.
I've been serving you on hands and feet.

That house offers more bang for your buck.
That is more house for your bang.

When I get dressed up I can tell people ogle me.
When I get dressed up people google me on the street.

Some babies take a while to get cute.
Some babies are homely as hell.

He's built like a brick shitter!
He's built like a shit brick-house!

I see you've been enjoying the Holidays!
Waaaa... you got so fat!

You are a bridezilla.
You are a brazilla.

Those bones.
Dem bongks.

She's just enamoured with him.
She's just inarmour with him.

Honey Bunches of Oats
Hunches Bunches of Oaks

Oikos Greek Yogurt
Oinkos Greek Yogurt

Ouch, my wrist!
Ouch, my wrisk!

Good game! You sure whacked the other team's butt!
Good game! You sure got their butts waxed!

Velociraptor
Falopseraptor

Ah, I'll finally get to meet the fictitious Vickie.
Ah, I'll finally get to meet the victicious Fickie.

You look like you could use a sweater.
You look like a prostitute.


So hopefully by now you can speak FOB conversationally when the occasion arises :)

Poor Adele

Below is my mom's response to a picture I showed her of Adele. I don't think my mom knows what Adele looks like, but as always, what she has to say is unexpected.

Mom: Eww. I don't like Ashley Judd-- or no, Wyonna Judd... Wyonna? Wyonna.

Me: Mom, it's Adele.

Mom: OH MY GOD! That's terrible...

Me: Haha. And I think you meant "WyNOnna"

Mom: Look up Susan Boyle... she got fat.