Learn to Speak FOB

My mom grew up speaking Cantonese at home, even after her family had immigrated to Canada. Needless to say, English is her second language.

While my mom can speak English very well, she speaks FOB way better.

In today's post, I will be teaching you how to say some basic phrases in FOB so you too can communicate with the exceptionally fobby. I have listed some phrases in english with the FOB translations given below in brown.

Let's Begin: English
                    FOB


I've been picking up the slack when it comes to the chores.
I've been serving you on hands and feet.

That house offers more bang for your buck.
That is more house for your bang.

When I get dressed up I can tell people ogle me.
When I get dressed up people google me on the street.

Some babies take a while to get cute.
Some babies are homely as hell.

He's built like a brick shitter!
He's built like a shit brick-house!

I see you've been enjoying the Holidays!
Waaaa... you got so fat!

You are a bridezilla.
You are a brazilla.

Those bones.
Dem bongks.

She's just enamoured with him.
She's just inarmour with him.

Honey Bunches of Oats
Hunches Bunches of Oaks

Oikos Greek Yogurt
Oinkos Greek Yogurt

Ouch, my wrist!
Ouch, my wrisk!

Good game! You sure whacked the other team's butt!
Good game! You sure got their butts waxed!

Velociraptor
Falopseraptor

Ah, I'll finally get to meet the fictitious Vickie.
Ah, I'll finally get to meet the victicious Fickie.

You look like you could use a sweater.
You look like a prostitute.


So hopefully by now you can speak FOB conversationally when the occasion arises :)