Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Thursday, 18 April 2013
Preparing for Another Vacation
I went to my parents' house yesterday, and let me tell you... it was a treasure trove of fobbery to behold. Let me start off by explaining that my family is going on yet another family vacation, so they were busy getting ready to depart.
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.
Me: Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?
Mom: I bought that for your sister.
Sister: I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!
Mom: YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!
Sister: NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:
Mom: Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!
I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.
Me: No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.
Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:
Mom: Here. You get a chunky soup.
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of over-ripe strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a fob-approved transportation unit.
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.
Me: Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?
Mom: I bought that for your sister.
Sister: I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!
Mom: YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!
Sister: NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:
Protection from the sun's harmful rays. Check!
Mom: Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!
I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.
Me: No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.
Yeah my mom plays bball. No biggie.
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.
Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:
Mom: Here. You get a chunky soup.
Oh mother. You shouldn't have! How can I accept this???
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of over-ripe strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a fob-approved transportation unit.
Oh yum! I can just imagine how fresh these would have been a week ago!
The fobbery continues...
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
Signs you Were Raised by an Asian Immigrant Parent
This is pretty accurate. Not bad, Buzzfeed: 27 Signs You Were Raised By Asian Immigrant Parent
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daozers/27-signs-you-were-raised-by-asian-immigrant-parents
I swear my mother has a whole section under the bathroom sink dedicated to hotel toiletries. Also, we used to have a towel with a big "S" on it which my mother had stolen from a Sheraton Hotel Pool. I miss that towel.
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
The FOBulous Mom Turns 1... two weeks ago...
Wow... I was totally sleeping at the wheel for this one. My blog hit the 1 year mark and I wasn't even mentally present to take note!
I guess I should share a bit of history regarding how this whole blog thing started. Not too long ago, I had discovered a website called MyMomIsAFob.com where users submit funny stories about their fobby moms. I obviously fell in love with this website as I could relate to the vast majority of the ridiculous stories. I would literally sit there in my cubicle reading these posts while violently convulsing in a vain attempt to subdue my laughter. Good times.
One day I decided I would submit a story, "Finding Emo", which would eventually make it's way onto the pages of mymomisafob.com. I had a pretty good response when I shared this with my facebook friends, so I decided I'd share a few more stories on facebook.
As I continued to follow the fobby stories, the gals over at mymomisafob apparently decided it was time to take a break and I was left with no more fobby stories to read. It was then that I decided I would start my own blog, if not for my friends, for my own personal amusement. Slowly but surely, I began the process of documenting the various stories of my mother which I had committed to memory, as wells some new gems.
I guess I should thank MyMomIsAFob for taking a well-deserved break since that was ultimately the catalyst for me to start my blog. Thanks guys!
And what kind of reflective post would this be if I didn't mention the woman who inspired this whole mess: my mother dearest. If it werent' for my mother, I wouldn't have had the deranged upbringing and outlook on life that I have now. From day one, my mother has stayed true to her Tiger mom stripes. Never one to deviate from stereotypes, she's been known to cook a mean stir fry, bust a few skulls for bad grades, and retrieve food/commodities out of the garbage for safe-keeping. I owe my mom a lot of thanks for teaching me some valuable life lessons too. Among them is to always be grateful for what you have, to respect your elders, to finish your food, and to not become a slut. Actually, perhaps the most important lesson my mom has taught me was that life isn't fair. This was exceptionally evident when I was the only sibling who didn't receive an iPod as a graduation present. But the true lesson in there is that $hit happens in life. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Either way the only thing you can control is yourself, so you might as well bust your a$$ so you can be of some use to society... at least that's my interpretation.
Lastly, but not leastly, I would like to give a shout out to you, the reader! Without someone to give two-$hits about this blog, well... I'd probably still write it, but it would be a lot more depressing for me to do so. I thank you. I am always so pleasantly surprised to find that someone can relate to me or thinks my stupid stories are amusing. I am also so confused as to how people from other countries have managed to find my blog... confused yet delighted!
I would like to give a big shout out to some of my readers in other countries! Here are some of the countries who are currently blowing my mind:
Dwo je!
I guess I should share a bit of history regarding how this whole blog thing started. Not too long ago, I had discovered a website called MyMomIsAFob.com where users submit funny stories about their fobby moms. I obviously fell in love with this website as I could relate to the vast majority of the ridiculous stories. I would literally sit there in my cubicle reading these posts while violently convulsing in a vain attempt to subdue my laughter. Good times.
One day I decided I would submit a story, "Finding Emo", which would eventually make it's way onto the pages of mymomisafob.com. I had a pretty good response when I shared this with my facebook friends, so I decided I'd share a few more stories on facebook.
As I continued to follow the fobby stories, the gals over at mymomisafob apparently decided it was time to take a break and I was left with no more fobby stories to read. It was then that I decided I would start my own blog, if not for my friends, for my own personal amusement. Slowly but surely, I began the process of documenting the various stories of my mother which I had committed to memory, as wells some new gems.
I guess I should thank MyMomIsAFob for taking a well-deserved break since that was ultimately the catalyst for me to start my blog. Thanks guys!
And what kind of reflective post would this be if I didn't mention the woman who inspired this whole mess: my mother dearest. If it werent' for my mother, I wouldn't have had the deranged upbringing and outlook on life that I have now. From day one, my mother has stayed true to her Tiger mom stripes. Never one to deviate from stereotypes, she's been known to cook a mean stir fry, bust a few skulls for bad grades, and retrieve food/commodities out of the garbage for safe-keeping. I owe my mom a lot of thanks for teaching me some valuable life lessons too. Among them is to always be grateful for what you have, to respect your elders, to finish your food, and to not become a slut. Actually, perhaps the most important lesson my mom has taught me was that life isn't fair. This was exceptionally evident when I was the only sibling who didn't receive an iPod as a graduation present. But the true lesson in there is that $hit happens in life. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Either way the only thing you can control is yourself, so you might as well bust your a$$ so you can be of some use to society... at least that's my interpretation.
Lastly, but not leastly, I would like to give a shout out to you, the reader! Without someone to give two-$hits about this blog, well... I'd probably still write it, but it would be a lot more depressing for me to do so. I thank you. I am always so pleasantly surprised to find that someone can relate to me or thinks my stupid stories are amusing. I am also so confused as to how people from other countries have managed to find my blog... confused yet delighted!
I would like to give a big shout out to some of my readers in other countries! Here are some of the countries who are currently blowing my mind:
- Canada (doi), you are my homegirl
- USA! USA!
- Россия! I obviously love Russians because they are the COOLEST!
- The UK! Bloody hell!
- Aussie, aussie, aussie! Oi, oi, oi!
- Deutschland? Danke schön!
- Oppan South Korea Style!
Dwo je!
http://www.booksicals.com/booksicals-birthday-parties
Friday, 22 March 2013
Goldroom - Fifteen
The FOBulous Mom: your new source for HOT JAMS! Well not really... but I like this song and it features a fellow half-yellow, Chela!
Sorry, nothing fobby today folks!
Friday, 15 March 2013
My Mom on Gilbert Gottfried
My mom calls me at work today to see what my plans are for the evening...
Mom: What are you doing tonight? Can me and gogo come over for a fisit?
Me: I'm going to see Gilbert Gottfried tonight at Yuk Yuk's comedy club.
Mom: Is it a Girl-Nights-Ow?
Me: No.
Mom: Oh. You know who is Gilber Goffreeze, right?
Me: No. (I know who he is but I wanted to see what my mom would say)
Mom: He is the guy that scrunches his eye ball.
Vintage Gilber!
Mom: What are you doing tonight? Can me and gogo come over for a fisit?
Me: I'm going to see Gilbert Gottfried tonight at Yuk Yuk's comedy club.
Mom: Is it a Girl-Nights-Ow?
Me: No.
Mom: Oh. You know who is Gilber Goffreeze, right?
Me: No. (I know who he is but I wanted to see what my mom would say)
Mom: He is the guy that scrunches his eye ball.
Vintage Gilber!
http://www.bite.ca/bitedaily/2011/01/comedy-spotlight-gilbert-gottfried/
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
My Husband on "The Bachelor"
When I was watching the season finale with my gwai lo husband, this is what he had to say about Sean's choice of Catherine over Lindsay:
"So he chose the asian one... RUN SEAN! RUUUUUUUUN!!!!"
http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/s77/the-bachelor/news/a460285/bachelor-sean-lowe-on-catherine-doubts-wish-she-shared-her-dreams.html
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