Mommy dearest is always happy to pose for pictures of undisclosed intent
HELLO! WHICH WAY TO THE SPACE MOUNTAIN?????
Showing posts with label Family Vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Vacation. Show all posts
Thursday, 23 May 2013
The Raincoat
Here is a picture of my mother trying on her raincoat before her vacation. I don't know who looks fobbier; her in her raincoat, or me in her tourist hat.
Thursday, 16 May 2013
Disney's Hiring Policy
My parents just came back from a Disneyland vacation and my mom was telling us some stories from their trip.
Mom: Hey Dad, remember when we were at the Star Wars line and the Chinese worker came out and he kep' sayin' "FORM TWO LINE! FORM TWO LINE!" but I guess nobody could understand him but me! That's why I stand next to you. I think I was the only other Chinese person there. You white people didn't know what to do HAHAH!
Dad: Well I couldn't really make out was he was saying so I just ignored him.
Mom: I was actually surprised to see a Chinese operator in the park. Usually Disney is pretty good about only hiring white people.
Mom: Hey Dad, remember when we were at the Star Wars line and the Chinese worker came out and he kep' sayin' "FORM TWO LINE! FORM TWO LINE!" but I guess nobody could understand him but me! That's why I stand next to you. I think I was the only other Chinese person there. You white people didn't know what to do HAHAH!
Dad: Well I couldn't really make out was he was saying so I just ignored him.
Mom: I was actually surprised to see a Chinese operator in the park. Usually Disney is pretty good about only hiring white people.
Oh she is SO not hired
Thursday, 18 April 2013
Preparing for Another Vacation
I went to my parents' house yesterday, and let me tell you... it was a treasure trove of fobbery to behold. Let me start off by explaining that my family is going on yet another family vacation, so they were busy getting ready to depart.
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.
Me: Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?
Mom: I bought that for your sister.
Sister: I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!
Mom: YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!
Sister: NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:
Mom: Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!
I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.
Me: No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.
Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:
Mom: Here. You get a chunky soup.
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of over-ripe strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a fob-approved transportation unit.
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.
Me: Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?
Mom: I bought that for your sister.
Sister: I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!
Mom: YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!
Sister: NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:
Protection from the sun's harmful rays. Check!
Mom: Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!
I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.
Me: No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.
Yeah my mom plays bball. No biggie.
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.
Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:
Mom: Here. You get a chunky soup.
Oh mother. You shouldn't have! How can I accept this???
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of over-ripe strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a fob-approved transportation unit.
Oh yum! I can just imagine how fresh these would have been a week ago!
The fobbery continues...
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Gotta do the Doo
We were trying to leave the house for a family trip to Jasper and my mom was a little bit obsessed over the whole family going to the washroom before we left...
"Everybody sit down and relax! We should wait till we all need to poo."
"Stop feeding your dad. He's gonna crap!"
"You don't want to eat too much because somebody's going to poo somewhere."
"Marky, go make a doo doo."
"I would much rather go poo here than on the road!"
"Gotta do the doo!"
"Everybody sit down and relax! We should wait till we all need to poo."
"Stop feeding your dad. He's gonna crap!"
"You don't want to eat too much because somebody's going to poo somewhere."
"Marky, go make a doo doo."
"I would much rather go poo here than on the road!"
"Gotta do the doo!"
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Let Us Out!
This is a tale of a family vacation gone WRONG.
This past winter, my parents and siblings went on a family vacay to Florida to visit family and go to Disney World. I didn't go because I was smart enough to opt out of this disaster-in-the-making. In fact, the last family holiday I participated in was when I was twelve! Wow... I must've been a fast learner! My intellectually inferior siblings, however, were really looking forward to getting away and seeing some sites.
One of the days they were there, it was decided that my dad and brother were going to walk on the beach while my mom and sister did some shopping. They pulled up to the beach in their rental Jetta where my dad and brother quickly hopped out, but my sister and mother were still in the car collecting their things.
My dad likes to do this thing where he locks the car door if he thinks you're dilly dallying. It's his grumpy old way to protest such flagrant dillery and dallery. We are all very familiar with this grumpy behaviour, and you would think that my mom would know this all too well having been married to the guy for 26 years.
However, mere milliseconds after hearing the car doors *click* my mom began freaking out and pounding on the windows yelling "LET US OUT!!!!!!! LET US OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!"
Obviously the simple solution of unlocking the doors eluded her.
In utter shock, my sister could not help but watch as my mother quickly caught the attention of passersby walking along the beach. I don't really know what they would've made of a tiny asian lady clawing for her life inside a shiny new Jetta.
While trying to hide her face, my sister saw my dad approaching out of the corner of her eye. Surely our beloved mother would "clam" down since her captor was returning to release her from her vehicular confinement. But against all rational though, she instead proceeded to yell at my dad in front of the crowd of people now gathered around the car. "WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU DOING??!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US??!!?!? YOU WERE GONNA SUFFOCATE US!!!!!!!!!"
I guess when my mom was freed the thought never occurred to her that she should probably be slightly embarrassed that she didn't think to unlock the door and let herself out. No… it just made more sense to rage in public.
At that moment, my little brother knew full-well that it was not going to be a good day, so he just kept on a-walkin' down the street to make sure he wasn't seen with our dysfunctional family unit.
Embarrassment is a common theme in mine and my siblings’ lives, but it’s all worth it in the end. Especially when we can make fun of our mom for getting locked in a car, and fighting desperately to save her and her daughter from imminent doom!
This past winter, my parents and siblings went on a family vacay to Florida to visit family and go to Disney World. I didn't go because I was smart enough to opt out of this disaster-in-the-making. In fact, the last family holiday I participated in was when I was twelve! Wow... I must've been a fast learner! My intellectually inferior siblings, however, were really looking forward to getting away and seeing some sites.
One of the days they were there, it was decided that my dad and brother were going to walk on the beach while my mom and sister did some shopping. They pulled up to the beach in their rental Jetta where my dad and brother quickly hopped out, but my sister and mother were still in the car collecting their things.
My dad likes to do this thing where he locks the car door if he thinks you're dilly dallying. It's his grumpy old way to protest such flagrant dillery and dallery. We are all very familiar with this grumpy behaviour, and you would think that my mom would know this all too well having been married to the guy for 26 years.
However, mere milliseconds after hearing the car doors *click* my mom began freaking out and pounding on the windows yelling "LET US OUT!!!!!!! LET US OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!"
Obviously the simple solution of unlocking the doors eluded her.
In utter shock, my sister could not help but watch as my mother quickly caught the attention of passersby walking along the beach. I don't really know what they would've made of a tiny asian lady clawing for her life inside a shiny new Jetta.
While trying to hide her face, my sister saw my dad approaching out of the corner of her eye. Surely our beloved mother would "clam" down since her captor was returning to release her from her vehicular confinement. But against all rational though, she instead proceeded to yell at my dad in front of the crowd of people now gathered around the car. "WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU DOING??!?!?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US??!!?!? YOU WERE GONNA SUFFOCATE US!!!!!!!!!"
I guess when my mom was freed the thought never occurred to her that she should probably be slightly embarrassed that she didn't think to unlock the door and let herself out. No… it just made more sense to rage in public.
At that moment, my little brother knew full-well that it was not going to be a good day, so he just kept on a-walkin' down the street to make sure he wasn't seen with our dysfunctional family unit.
Embarrassment is a common theme in mine and my siblings’ lives, but it’s all worth it in the end. Especially when we can make fun of our mom for getting locked in a car, and fighting desperately to save her and her daughter from imminent doom!
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