Whenever my mom sees either myself or my sibs log onto facebook, she immediately begins her vulture-like hover towards the computer monitor. Before you know it, she's over your shoulder saying "Hey click on that picture! Who is that? Where are they? Did they get back from their vacation? When did they leave? Did they have a baby? How come you don't see so-and-so anymore? Who are they dating now? Oh my gosh I can see her boobs! What does [insert acronym] mean? Why do they Like? Who are these people I don't know? Where does it say who their parents are?"
Next thing you know she's confiscated your laptop and she is full-on creeping on your facebook. She will literally spend a good 45 minutes in facebook-land until she's had her fill.
Surprisingly, whenever we ask her why she doesn't just get her own account, her response is always "I don't have time for that shit! I'm busy!"
-_-
Showing posts with label Snooping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snooping. Show all posts
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Friday, 4 May 2012
You say NO!
As a fobspring, I don't know if I got the conventional "sex talk" so much as I got the life-long indoctrination that "being skank" is bad, and "finish school" or "become doctor" is good. Fobs typically don't handle this "sex" topic very well, but what they lack in sensitivity, they make up for in humiliation...your humiliation that is.
One day when my sister was in junior high she had a sex-ed presentation at school. At the end of the presentation, the facilitator handed out condoms to each of the students.
Later on at home, my sister reached into her pocket and pulled out the condom she had almost forgotten about and placed it on her bookshelf. Not really thinking about it too much, she went on with her day.
In traditional fobby fashion, my snoopy fob mother was making her rounds through the house when she spotted the condom left in plain view on my little sister's bookshelf. She immediately began her ritualistic fob-mom freak out.
Mom: COLLEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What???
Mom: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What's wrong?
Mom: CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME THIIIIIIS????? *holds out the condom*
Colleen: Oh, we had sex-ed at school today.
Now for any normal, say, white parent, that would be a sufficient explanation as to why a 12 year old girl would leave a condom out on her bookshelf. Evidently, that wasn't explanation enough for my mom...
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ASK THEM FOR A CONDOM??????
Colleen: I didn't ask. They gave them out to everybody.
Again, this would probably be good enough for most reasonable people.
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ACCEP' IT??????
Colleen: Look, I just put it in my pocket and forgot that it was there. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. I was going to throw it in the garbage, but I never got around to it.
Mom: WHEN SOMEBODY TRY TO GIVE YOU A CONDOM YOU SAY NO! I DON'T HAVE SEX!
After that, my mortified sister came to me and asked for my assistance in quelling our raging mother. At our house, I was the only one who was willing to go toe-to-toe with the big FOBster. To this day I still get texts from my sister saying "Please call the house. Mom is being crazy"
One day when my sister was in junior high she had a sex-ed presentation at school. At the end of the presentation, the facilitator handed out condoms to each of the students.
Later on at home, my sister reached into her pocket and pulled out the condom she had almost forgotten about and placed it on her bookshelf. Not really thinking about it too much, she went on with her day.
In traditional fobby fashion, my snoopy fob mother was making her rounds through the house when she spotted the condom left in plain view on my little sister's bookshelf. She immediately began her ritualistic fob-mom freak out.
Mom: COLLEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What???
Mom: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What's wrong?
Mom: CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME THIIIIIIS????? *holds out the condom*
Colleen: Oh, we had sex-ed at school today.
Now for any normal, say, white parent, that would be a sufficient explanation as to why a 12 year old girl would leave a condom out on her bookshelf. Evidently, that wasn't explanation enough for my mom...
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ASK THEM FOR A CONDOM??????
Colleen: I didn't ask. They gave them out to everybody.
Again, this would probably be good enough for most reasonable people.
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ACCEP' IT??????
Colleen: Look, I just put it in my pocket and forgot that it was there. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. I was going to throw it in the garbage, but I never got around to it.
Mom: WHEN SOMEBODY TRY TO GIVE YOU A CONDOM YOU SAY NO! I DON'T HAVE SEX!
After that, my mortified sister came to me and asked for my assistance in quelling our raging mother. At our house, I was the only one who was willing to go toe-to-toe with the big FOBster. To this day I still get texts from my sister saying "Please call the house. Mom is being crazy"
Monday, 12 March 2012
Hotmail Account
First Post!
What to write, what to write...
Let's go with a FOB Memory:
To set the scene, me and my little sister were trying to sign up for hotmail accounts MANY MANY years ago and, as usual, my mom was getting suspicious that we were up to no good.
Mom: What are you girls doing….
Me: Oh we’re just trying to sign up for Hotmail accounts
Mom: and just WHO..... is this HOT MALE????!?!?!?!?!!!!
What to write, what to write...
Let's go with a FOB Memory:
To set the scene, me and my little sister were trying to sign up for hotmail accounts MANY MANY years ago and, as usual, my mom was getting suspicious that we were up to no good.
Mom: What are you girls doing….
Me: Oh we’re just trying to sign up for Hotmail accounts
Mom: and just WHO..... is this HOT MALE????!?!?!?!?!!!!
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