One day when my sister was in junior high she had a sex-ed presentation at school. At the end of the presentation, the facilitator handed out condoms to each of the students.
Later on at home, my sister reached into her pocket and pulled out the condom she had almost forgotten about and placed it on her bookshelf. Not really thinking about it too much, she went on with her day.
In traditional fobby fashion, my snoopy fob mother was making her rounds through the house when she spotted the condom left in plain view on my little sister's bookshelf. She immediately began her ritualistic fob-mom freak out.
Mom: COLLEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What???
Mom: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Colleen: What's wrong?
Mom: CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME THIIIIIIS????? *holds out the condom*
Colleen: Oh, we had sex-ed at school today.
Now for any normal, say, white parent, that would be a sufficient explanation as to why a 12 year old girl would leave a condom out on her bookshelf. Evidently, that wasn't explanation enough for my mom...
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ASK THEM FOR A CONDOM??????
Colleen: I didn't ask. They gave them out to everybody.
Again, this would probably be good enough for most reasonable people.
Mom: AND WHY DID YOU ACCEP' IT??????
Colleen: Look, I just put it in my pocket and forgot that it was there. I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. I was going to throw it in the garbage, but I never got around to it.
Mom: WHEN SOMEBODY TRY TO GIVE YOU A CONDOM YOU SAY NO! I DON'T HAVE SEX!
After that, my mortified sister came to me and asked for my assistance in quelling our raging mother. At our house, I was the only one who was willing to go toe-to-toe with the big FOBster. To this day I still get texts from my sister saying "Please call the house. Mom is being crazy"
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