The Fob on the Bus Goes YAT YI SAM!

As a self-proclaimed urbanite, I am a staunch supporter of public transit. I myself take public transit to and from work every day. I have a car sitting at home, but I'd rather not start and finish my day with a vein-bursting road-rage sesh. As someone who works in the land development industry, I truly believe that everyone should take public transit, but I digress... that's a post for another blog!

You may already know that my sister is a brutal driver. As a result, she often opts to bus-it if she feels uncomfortable driving somewhere by herself. For anyone who's ever taken public transit, you know there's no shortage of colourful characters to behold on the bus. I myself am treated to this experience daily, and one day in particular my sister had a close encounter of her own.

One day my sister was riding the bus when she noticed a crazy Chinese lady counting out-loud to herself in her seat. "Yat... yi... sam..." She wasn't really paying the crazy lady too much attention, when all of the sudden Crazy McCrazersons comes up to my sister and says "You are showing too much fresh" in her thick Cantonese accent while pointing at my sister's exposed arms. Embarrassed and a little weirded-out, my sister just stared at the lady until she retreated back to her seat. I like to think that this lady was just carrying out her fobly duties to protect young Chinese girls from the dangers of such flagrant displays of arm skin.

http://www.brilliantbeginningspreschoolutah.com/2011/04/w-is-for-wheels-on-bus-with-recycled.html

The fob on the bus goes YAT, YI, SAM! YAT, YI, SAM! YAT, YI, SAM!

Staying True to My People

Today's post is about yours truly. Enjoy!

Me 'n my gwai lo husband were shopping for noodles at Safeway...

Husband: Should we stay true to your people and get the Ichiban brand?

Me: Number 1: I'm not Japanese. Number 2: If we are staying true to my people we are buying the Safeway brand because it's the cheapest per gram.

If you want to try and convince a Chinese person to spend 9 cents more for a brand name... be my guest.

Stop Eating With Your Left Hand!

This fob memory takes place in a Chinese restaurant at a family gathering of some sort. This was quite some time ago and I don't imagine myself being much older than 15 at this point. Anyways... I was sitting across from my mother when, suddenly, she kicked me from underneath the table. I looked up at her and she looked very angry. I raised my eyebrows as if to ask "what?" and she began to whisper angrily to me.

Mom: Stop eating with your leff han'!

I was definitely eating with my right hand, as I am right-handed, but obviously my mother was tripped-up because we were facing each other, and therefore our left and right were reversed. Being the wonderful daughter that I am, I decided to mess with her.

Me: Why? I need practice.

Mom: No you don't! Stop it, Erin! It's rude!

Me: Why is it rude? I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Because! Somebody sit next to you and wanna eat with their right han', then they are bumping into you!

Me: I don't care. I like eating with my left hand.

Mom: Oh you are gonna get it later in the car!

So "later in the car" happens, and my mom is yelling at me in front of my dad and siblings. When she was finished ripping me a new one, I pointed out the minor detail that I was, in fact, eating with my right hand, yet somehow kept my mother going for the whole dinner.

Classic family togetherness time.

Jeff Who Lives at Home

My mom watched the movie "Jeff Who Lives at Home", and recommended that my sister watch it too. So my sister ordered it on Netflix and told my mother about it.

Sister: I watched that movie.

Mom: What? You mean "Jeff Lives Here"?

http://www.examiner.com/article/june-19-2012-dvd-and-blu-ray-jeff-who-lives-at-home-with-jason-segel

My Mom on Penguins

My mom recently returned from a trip to San Diego where she spent a day at SeaWorld. She was excited to tell my siblings about her trip, but I guess the novelty of seeing exotic wildlife up-close was lost on her.

My Brother: So did you get to see the penguins?

Mom: Yeah I did.

Brother: Oh cool! And?

Mom: I think they are just glorified chickens!

Brother: Haha what?

Mom: They smell bad!

Brother: Ok... well what did you think of the orcas?

Mom: I really liked watching Shampu.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin

 

 

 

I Don't Have Time for That $hit!

Whenever my mom sees either myself or my sibs log onto facebook, she immediately begins her vulture-like hover towards the computer monitor. Before you know it, she's over your shoulder saying "Hey click on that picture! Who is that? Where are they? Did they get back from their vacation? When did they leave? Did they have a baby? How come you don't see so-and-so anymore? Who are they dating now? Oh my gosh I can see her boobs! What does [insert acronym] mean? Why do they Like? Who are these people I don't know? Where does it say who their parents are?"

Next thing you know she's confiscated your laptop and she is full-on creeping on your facebook. She will literally spend a good 45 minutes in facebook-land until she's had her fill.

Surprisingly, whenever we ask her why she doesn't just get her own account, her response is always "I don't have time for that shit! I'm busy!"

-_-

Pinteresting...

Ok so this post is not about fobs or my mom, but I just really wanted to make a commentary on a website who's concept I simply cannot endorse.

The website I'm talking about is none other than your friendly neighbourhood Pinterest. I guess the concept sounds reasonable enough on paper. You "pin" things from the internet on "boards", if I am not mistaken. People then see the things you've "pinned" and they themselves can "re-pin" the articles which you so lovingly "pinned" in the first place, thus generating an ever-convoluted web of "pins". Sounds pretty good, right?

So I signed up for this Pinterest thing because all my friends were like "OH MY GAH, Pinterest!", but to tell you the truth, I haven't really made it much farther than that. When I see "pins" on my facebook feeds all I can think of is "WTF is the purpose of Pinterest above and beyond what can be accomplished by facebook?" Obviously this Pinterest business is way over my head.

While I may not fully understand Pinterest, I have noticed a certain demographic of Pinterest users emerging from the patterns of precisely placed pins I see on facebook. This may help to explain why I just cannot bring myself to jump on the pin-wagon (aside from being vertically challenged).

Below are a list of the different types of people who, I believe, dominate the world of Pinterest:

1. Brides
2. People who cook/bake
3. People who like to booze
4. Fashionable people
5. People who actually try and do their hair and make-up
6. Interior decorators
7. Teachers
8. People with ovaries

Now, while I technically fall into one of the categories listed above (No. 8), I think you need at least two before you can actually know how to navigate their website.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bad-mouth Pinterest or anything. I'm sure that there must be some form of implicit benefit to "pinning" if jillions of "pinheads" are doing it. I am just stupid, is all. That's probably why I simply don't get it. I guess you could say I'm just not "pinterested"... (no?)

  http://pinterest.com/about/

Now if pinning things could get me discounts on said things then I would be all over that!