I went to my parents' house yesterday, and let me tell you... it was a treasure trove of fobbery to behold. Let me start off by explaining that my family is going on yet another
family vacation, so they were busy getting ready to depart.
When I got there, I noticed a woven muave-coloured baseball cap in the kitchen. I naturally assumed that it was my mother's as it was hideous and appropriate for an asian tourist.
Me: Mom, did you buy yourself a new hat for the vacation?
Mom: I bought that for your sister.
Sister: I already told you. I am NOT wearing that!
Mom: YES YOU WILL! IT WAS FOUR DOLLARS FROM THE DOLLAR STORE!
Sister: NO! I didn't ask you to buy me a hat, and that thing is friggin ugly!
The only logical next step for me was to put the hat on and photograph myself wearing it for all of you to see:
Protection from the sun's harmful rays. Check!
Mom: Oh Erin that hat looks so nice on you! You can have that hat if you want. Your sister doesn't want it anyways. It was four dollars at the dollar store, you know.
Me: No thanks.
Mom: Take it! If you like it so much you can have it!
I guess she thought my selfie-sesh meant that I liked the hat and that I thought it looked good on me.
Me: No mother. I will not be taking this baseball cap home with me today.
Then I noticed a brand new fanny pack sitting on the dining room table. Earlier in the day I'd overheard my mother expressing her disbelief at the lack of good quality fanny packs to be found at the mall. Being the loving daughter that I am, I asked my mother to model the fanny pack for me, resulting in the following picture. Of course my mother obliged as she saw nothing wrong with my request.
Yeah my mom plays bball. No biggie.
Soon after this, I had to be on my way. My mother had packed up a few perishables for me to take home, as she wouldn't be able to keep them in the fridge for the duration of the trip.
Along with the bags of groceries my mom handed me a small piece of paper and said:
Mom: Here. You get a chunky soup.
Oh mother. You shouldn't have! How can I accept this???
I thought the generosity had stopped there... but wait... it wasn't over yet! When I returned home, I unpacked my bag of goodies. My mom had sent me home with a carton of eggs, some yogurt, and some leftovers, but at the bottom of the grocery bag, I found a container of
over-ripe strawberries! The only thing that could have made this day better is if the strawberries were in a
fob-approved transportation unit.
Oh yum! I can just imagine how fresh these would have been a week ago!
The fobbery continues...
