Thursday, 11 July 2013

So Fat!

For those of you who are fortunate enough to have fob parents, you will surely know the joy that comes with a lifetime of having your weight carefully monitored and scrutinized.

As far back as I can remember, my mother has always been on mine and my sister's cases when it came to our weight. For example, if I were to be wearing a tighter shirt after a hearty meal, my mother would sometimes request that I remove my "bagel" from her field of vision. If you are asking yourself "what in tarnation is a bagel?", you will be enlightened to know that a "bagel" is a term my mother invented to describe the circle of fat that surrounds one's belly button. Now, I wouldn't exactly describe myself as fat, but I guess by Chinese standards you could say I'm an XXL.

But don't feel bad for me. I'm used to it. Just like I'm used to being called "idiot" and "ungrateful". It just comes with the territory. Actually, it's kind of funny now that I'm older realizing not every kid grew up being told they were fat pieces of garbage who needed to get better grades. (White kids need not be offended on my behalf... it's cool)

Anyways... as of late, my normally petite mother has put on a little bit of weight. Seeing as how I am a wonderful daughter, I decided that I would give my mother a taste of her own medicine, even though she'd probably only put on like 5 lbs. Still, if nothing else, it would be an interesting social experiment to see how she'd react.

Me: Hey mom. You got fat.

Mom: Yeah so?

As predicted... she didn't seem to be phased so I decided to kick it up a notch.

Me: Are you angry that you're fatter than me now?

Expecting her to be at least a LITTLE offended that I was implying her bagel had now surpassed mine, she had the following response:

Mom: Why would I be angry? Mommy's allow to be fat because she's ol'. Not you though.

Nope... still unphased.

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