Tuesday, 30 October 2012

I Don't Have Time for That $hit!

Whenever my mom sees either myself or my sibs log onto facebook, she immediately begins her vulture-like hover towards the computer monitor. Before you know it, she's over your shoulder saying "Hey click on that picture! Who is that? Where are they? Did they get back from their vacation? When did they leave? Did they have a baby? How come you don't see so-and-so anymore? Who are they dating now? Oh my gosh I can see her boobs! What does [insert acronym] mean? Why do they Like? Who are these people I don't know? Where does it say who their parents are?"

Next thing you know she's confiscated your laptop and she is full-on creeping on your facebook. She will literally spend a good 45 minutes in facebook-land until she's had her fill.

Surprisingly, whenever we ask her why she doesn't just get her own account, her response is always "I don't have time for that shit! I'm busy!"


Friday, 19 October 2012


Ok so this post is not about fobs or my mom, but I just really wanted to make a commentary on a website who's concept I simply cannot endorse.

The website I'm talking about is none other than your friendly neighbourhood Pinterest. I guess the concept sounds reasonable enough on paper. You "pin" things from the internet on "boards", if I am not mistaken. People then see the things you've "pinned" and they themselves can "re-pin" the articles which you so lovingly "pinned" in the first place, thus generating an ever-convoluted web of "pins". Sounds pretty good, right?

So I signed up for this Pinterest thing because all my friends were like "OH MY GAH, Pinterest!", but to tell you the truth, I haven't really made it much farther than that. When I see "pins" on my facebook feeds all I can think of is "WTF is the purpose of Pinterest above and beyond what can be accomplished by facebook?" Obviously this Pinterest business is way over my head.

While I may not fully understand Pinterest, I have noticed a certain demographic of Pinterest users emerging from the patterns of precisely placed pins I see on facebook. This may help to explain why I just cannot bring myself to jump on the pin-wagon (aside from being vertically challenged).

Below are a list of the different types of people who, I believe, dominate the world of Pinterest:

  1. Brides
  2. People who cook/bake
  3. People who like to booze
  4. Fashionable people
  5. People who actually try and do their hair and make-up
  6. Interior decorators
  7. Teachers
  8. People with ovaries

Now, while I technically fall into one of the categories listed above (No. 8), I think you need at least two before you can actually know how to navigate their website.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bad-mouth Pinterest or anything. I'm sure that there must be some form of implicit benefit to "pinning" if jillions of "pinheads" are doing it. I am just stupid, is all. That's probably why I simply don't get it. I guess you could say I'm just not "pinterested"... (no?)


Now if pinning things could get me discounts on said things then I would be all over that!

Wednesday, 17 October 2012


My family recently dog-sat for my in-laws while they were away on a cruise. When I first asked my mother if they would consider dog-sitting, she was a little leery as they had just put in some new flooring. However, the dog is really small and very well-behaved so I convinced her that everything would be fine, and she eventually agreed.

Fast forward to the day after my in-laws return from their vacation and I get a phone call from my mother checking in on the dog:

Mom: How is Misha?

Me: She is good.

Mom: Did she remember her real mommy and daddy?

Me: Yes. She was excited to see them.

Mom: Awe.. did she miss us?

Me: I dunno. I can't say.

Mom: Awe... dad misses her.

Me: I think YOU miss her.

Mom: Yeah I do... I miss her growling face and her begging.

Me: See I told you you would love her.

Mom: I know!

My sister in the background: Yesterday mom was like "STUPID ERIN! SHE SAID WE WOULD LOVE THAT DOG AND WE DID!"

 Here is a picture of the puppy Misha in her Santa hat!

Tuesday, 16 October 2012


My mother was recently trying to recall one of my brother's Halloween costumes from a few years back. After a couple of minutes of description, he knew that she was referring to his Fubar costume but before he could speak she said "You were that guy from Snafu, right?"


Friday, 5 October 2012

Comparing Daughters

Fob parents just can't help but compare their children to one another...

I was mentioning to my mom how my sister, "gogo", is scared to drive because she is so terrible at it. Below is her e-mail back to me. I guess she was trying to find the redeeming points in my sister.

Aw... my mother thinks so highly of me.